If this is your first holiday season after divorce, give yourself a round of applause. Perhaps it has not been easy, but you are getting through it. Now that the new year is right around the corner, it is a good time for some self-reflection and introspection. 

We often get so caught up with the hustle and bustle of everyday life, we forget to stop and reflect on our actions, behavior, and goals. The start of a new year gives us that chance, and after a divorce, it can be especially helpful. 

One of the first questions that typically crosses your mind when you begin the divorce process is, “Who gets what?” During your marriage, you and your spouse likely acquired a lot of assets and debts, which all must be divided before you can finalize your divorce. 

Wisconsin courts allow you and your spouse to reach a mutual agreement about property division, either by negotiation through your respective attorneys or through a divorce mediator. If you cannot reach an agreement together for your divorce decree, a judge will intervene and base decisions on state laws and consideration of a number of factors.

Whether a couple has been married for a year or 20 years, they are bound to experience some challenges. Often times, these challenges hurt a couple’s relationship rather than strengthen it, resulting in divorce. Let us take a look at the top 6 reasons marriages end in divorce.

1. Lack of Communication. A relationship cannot be successful without open lines of communication. When spouses fail to share their positive and negative feelings with one another and keep things to themselves, problems are likely to arise. 

Since marital problems cannot be solved when there is no willingness to communicate, negative feelings may build up over time--leaving problems unresolved and therefore causing frustration and resentment. This frustration and resentment eventually leads to a divorce.

While divorce is difficult for the couple involved, it can also take a serious toll on the lives of their children. If you are going through a divorce, you should make it a priority to help your children cope with it.

Regardless of the age of your children, these tips are sure to help them get through this rough patch so that they can focus on school, extracurricular activities, hobbies, friends, and anything else that brings them the health and happiness they deserve. 

• Avoid Being Critical of Your Spouse. You should be truthful when explaining the reasons for the divorce to your children. However, while you are being truthful, you should avoid blaming their mother or father and keep your negative feelings to yourself. You can hurt your children by speaking ill about their other parent.
• Emphasize That They Did Not Cause the Divorce. Sometimes, children may believe that their parents are getting divorced because they were constantly arguing about them. If this is the case with your children, you should reassure them that they have nothing to do with the divorce. 
• Always Tell Them You Love Them. During a divorce, life can get hectic and stressful, making it easy for you to forget to tell your children that you love them. A simple “I love you” every day is a powerful way to show your children that the divorce will not change how you care for and love them. 
• Work Together with Your Ex-Spouse. Even though your marriage did not work out, your children should still be considered the most important people in your life as well as the life of your ex-spouse. Therefore, if possible, you should work together with your ex-spouse to raise your children well. It’s important for you and your ex-spouse to divide up parental duties and come to a custody and visitation agreement that has their best interests in mind.
• Minimize Major Lifestyle Changes. You should make an effort to minimize major lifestyle changes that your divorce may bring to your children. For example, your children should continue living in the same home, attending the same school, and participating in the same routine and activities that they were prior to your divorce. Keeping life stable can reduce hardship on your child and help get their mind off of the divorce. 

Contact Our Milwaukee County Divorce Lawyers

Domestic violence victims are often in the greatest amount of danger, right after they leave or decide to leave their abuser. Generally, this is because the abuser is trying to reassert his or her control. However, there are some abuser actions that are clearly meant to punish or exact revenge. In either case, victims should know how to keep themselves and their children safe. Learn more, including how an experienced family law attorney can help with the process.

What is a Safety Plan?

A safety plan is a personalized plan for maintaining the safety of you and your children as you transition out of the relationship. Good plans are comprehensive, covering everything from while you are preparing to leave to once you are gone and going through the divorce or separation process. Most safety plans also require you to consider what you will need – money, birth certificates, identification, etc. – to start an independent life.