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4 Tips for How to Tell Your Children About Divorce

Posted on in Divorce/Family Law

Delafield divorce lawyers

Coming to the decision that you and your spouse should get a divorce is often a relief, as perhaps you will finally be able to live the life you want. While it may feel like a weight has been lifted, there is much work to do before your divorce agreement is completed. The next step in the divorce process can be a daunting one -- letting everyone know you are getting divorced. 

For most people, telling children about divorce is difficult. Here are a few tips to help you make the conversation easier:

1. Tell All Your Children at the Same Time

Do not make the mistake of telling one child you are getting a divorce before you tell the others. You do not want one of your children to hear about your divorce from a sibling instead of you or their other parent. Gather your children somewhere like the family room and tell them at the same time to prevent any further heartbreak or confusion. If you can do so with your soon-to-be ex-spouse in a positive manner, all the better.

2. Make it Simple

The words and phrases you use when telling your children will mostly depend on your children’s age and maturity level. If you have younger children, you should keep the message short and sweet with simple words. Something along the lines of, “Mommy and daddy have decided we do not want to live together anymore, but it does not change how much we love you and everything will be okay,” should work. For older children, you may need to go into more detail, but do not go overboard with why the divorce is happening.

3. Reassure Your Children

It is not uncommon for children to begin to worry when they find out you are getting a divorce and what that means. You should make sure to reassure them with as much information as you can. You should let them know what their future living arrangements will likely be, where they will go to school (if they must change schools), and when they will see each parent.

4. Let Them Know How Much You Care

The most important element of reassurance is to let your children know you and your spouse will always love them, no matter what. Children often internalize their parents’ issues and they may think the divorce is their fault. Make sure they know the divorce had nothing to do with them.

A Waukesha County Divorce Lawyer Can Help

Even if a divorce is amicable, telling the children you are getting a divorce is never easy. While you cannot avoid telling them you are splitting up, there are ways you can tell them that might make the conversation go a bit easier. At the Bucher Law Group, LLC, we understand getting a divorce is a major change for everyone involved. Our skilled Waukesha, WI divorce attorneys can help ensure your divorce goes as smoothly as possible. Call our office today at 262-303-4916 to schedule a free consultation.




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